How Do You Cope with Shame?

Shame is a feeling of humiliation, guilt, or regret. Although shame may be unpleasant, that does not make it any less real for the one experiencing it. How do you cope with shame? 

Do you struggle to identify your triggers and avoid them? Is there one particular event in which you felt shame? Did anything specific happen to make you feel ashamed? All these questions have different answers, but they still are worth asking. You can take shame therapy to overcome these problems. 

Acknowledge Shame:

Identifying triggers is one way to cope with shame. While it’s hard to admit that an incident had anything to do with triggering your shame, it is helpful to identify the event in which you felt most ashamed. Once you’ve identified the event and pinpointed what happened, you can take steps toward reducing or even abolishing your emotions related to that particular incident.

Is It Shame or Guilt?

Guilt is defined as a strong sense of moral or ethical responsibility. You are probably feeling guilty right now because you have caused someone harm. Guilt is your internal response to a thought or action that may have harmed another person. However, there are also situations where you feel shame instead of guilt.

Develop Compassion for Yourself:

When you feel shame, it cannot be easy to recognize where your feelings are coming from. You may feel ashamed because of a specific action or event, but when you look at the person who hurt you, they don’t see the mistakes you see in yourself. 

It is important to develop compassion towards yourself and forgive any mistakes made in the past. As soon as possible after making a mistake, try to make amends with those directly affected. Self-forgiveness is just as important as forgiveness from others.

Take therapy:

Any form of counseling or therapy can help you cope with shame. Shame is a complicated emotion that many circumstances could have brought on. It’s not a positive emotion but can be overcome and treated. A counselor can also provide many therapies, like fear therapy. 

A counselor will help you recognize how to deal with feelings of shame, and with time, you may get to a place where this emotion is no longer an issue in your life.